and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
