I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
