Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
