Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
