sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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