she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
