Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
