Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
