she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
