I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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