508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
