You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
