Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
