My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
