You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
