Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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