did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
