whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
