I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
