I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
