There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
