but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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