thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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