had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
