My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
