im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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