did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
