I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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