I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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