Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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