i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
