Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
