Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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