I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
