he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
