I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
