Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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