.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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