im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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