The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
