Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Your penis caused this!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
