When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
