I wanna bring you to show and tell
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
foreskin is a definite game changer
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
