She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
