I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
don't judge my taste in strippers
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
