my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
