This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
