I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
