Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
