He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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